Through a sequence of events today, I have found myself thinking alot about my father. The example he was to me and my brothers, and how that has carried into my life today.
I can count on two hands the amount of times I remember my father telling me he loved me. These were usually pretty significant events in my life. Whether it be before my first marriage, or as it was falling apart, or the birth of my three children. But do not misunderstand, I always knew my father loved me.
I think his love for me was the basis on which I interpret love. Not just the affection of another, which is sure to be passing, but the kind that is actually going to stick around. You see, my father showed me daily what it was to love. He provided for our home, in a way that we may have wanted for things, but we were never in need of them. He was stern in our guidance, but never cruel.
I have never known nor do I believe I will ever, a man so patient. I do not know how he held it together with the three of us. I alone have been enough to break any man. But, he's always there. I know I can call on him, even when he shouldn't answer, and he will. There have been many a times in my life, which I have acted in such a way that was either just plain stupid, or against his belief. Through it all, I was always clear as to where his opinion of my actions were, however also always clear, his actions were out of love.
My father is a man of wisdom. He rarely spoke out of emotion. Through all of the things I have done, there were many in which, I am certain broke him. However, when I spoke to my father, or faced my consequence, I never faced a man who spoke out of rage, or hurt. He thought through his words. Spoke in a way I knew his opinion, but never in a away that hurt.
My father honored my mother. Even when he did not agree with her. I know there is a pictured fairy tail in which one's parents never fight. And most believe this to be just that, a Fairy tale. But in my life, it wasn't. I am certain my parents had arguments every now and then, but I never saw one. Not one. And I am certain my brother's would say the same. Whether it be in public or in our home, my father honored and respected her.
As I grew up, these things were ingrained in me. I didn't know it. My father didn't sit me down and tell me these were the things I were to look for in a mate. Or that these were the ways I would crave to feel love for the remainder of my life. He didn't have to. His mere existence and presence was enough.
There is really no underlying message to this blog, aside from this. Father's be careful how you treat your daughters. Be aware of the way you show love to their mother. For even though you may never realize it, you are forming the way they will be treated and loved every waking moment of your life.
Thank you Dad, for everything. Even those, I didn't know you were giving.
Much Love,
Ashleigh Mc
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